The Unexamined Life, Part 1: Copy That!

When I was a second grader at Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary Catholic school, there was one girl in our class whose dad was Protestant. Poor Mary Pat! We had prayed for her father’s soul every day since first grade. And then, one glorious morning, Mary Pat told us her father was converting to Catholicism! There was rejoicing on earth and in heaven that day!

Both Catholics and Protestants have come a long way since 1962. Historically, Catholics and Protestants have defined themselves over-against one another. Ladies who met for Bible study in my local UCC church in the 1990s loved to joke that we were “the one true church.” That it had become a joke was reason to celebrate  — but it’s no laughing matter that “us vs. them” divides continue to form our group identities. Belonging anywhere often leads to scapegoating others.

I raise the topic because scapegoating is central to the drama of Wicked: Part 1. If you doubt that claim, here is a talking goat giving a lecture on scapegoating. I rest my case!

What emerges through the songs, staging, costumes, and choreography of Wicked is something often hidden from our view: the role imitation plays in scapegoating. Because we live in a culture that values individuality and originality, imitation has a bad reputation. Being called a copycat, for example, can really sting. So before we get into imitation and scapegoating (I’ll address those more thoroughly in my next post), I’d like to talk about the benefits of being really good imitators.

What Wicked gets so very right is that finding a group where you belong is a very good thing. Belonging is central to our self-worth and well-being. When Elphaba arrives at Shiz University, she does not fit in at all. In a way, she’s glad of it: There is no one around that she wants to be like, and quite a few — like Galinda and her crowd — that she’d rather have nothing to do with. But finding someone to imitate is central to belonging. Imitating others is how we learn to belong to a specific group in a specific place and time. We learn through imitating the behavior, beliefs, language, and culture of others in the group, until we are recognized as insiders. As a result, we feel seen, protected, and respected in that community. It’s something we hope Elphaba will find someday.

We also see the benefits of imitation in the ways the students relate to Galinda and Fiyero. Both embody the qualities that make someone popular at school. When Fiyero sings “Dancing Through Life,” the choreography emphasizes the students imitating his dance moves. And Fiyero loves it! The students would be very upset if, in the middle of the dance, Fiyero shouted, “Stop imitating me!”

The whole point of being a handsome, rich Prince is that everyone wants to be you! And though Fiyero has not thought much about it, his self-confidence is a direct result of being flattered by his imitators, who imitate him because they want to be him. This feedback loop is unconscious — or, as Fiyero would say, unexamined.

That’s how love works at a human level, whether we examine it or not: We learn to love ourselves through models whose love for us we can imitate. As newborns, it’s our family. As we grow, the circle expands to friends and neighbors, teachers and mentors who look at us with love. Without those loving gazes, we would not be able to love ourselves.

Here’s an exercise that shows how imitation works for good in your life: Take a few minutes to think about the models who sustain your ability to love yourself by their love for you. Start with the people closest to you, and then widen the circle. Sometimes we get a self-love boost from casual acquaintances or strangers who say thank you. Sometimes, I get a boost from reading the very thing I pontificated to my husband about yesterday in a column from a well-respected authority on the subject! I take my boosts where I can get them!

The takeaway is that, no matter how popular or self-confident someone seems, they cannot sustain self-love without having loving people around them to imitate. I hope you have a long list of models – and that you won’t lose it! Next time, we’ll see where the danger lurks in this circle of imitation!

I’d love to hear how this exercise worked for you! Please comment below!

Till next time, remember to always mourn the wicked. It’s what good people do.